Now that we have several new members in the choir, I am often asked, “Hey, Mark. Just what the heck are you talking about?” Admittedly, this query comes mostly from the bass section, however it must be pointed out that being in the choir is a highly technical and demanding profession. The terms that we use in music are not readily found in normal, everyday life. For example:

The lilting counter-melody sung over the hymn by the higher voices is called::

If you answered “C” you have the makings of a fine choir member for you are unusually perceptive.

Here are are several other definitions which you may find make your choir experience easier to understand.

Pizzacato - literally “Cat Pizza” Anchovies optional.
Ritard - well ... the bass section, mostly.
Mode - a key, reflecting a particular emotion. As in “I can’t sing that. I’m not in the mode.”
Parallel Organum - A method of musical gratification frowned on by early church fathers.
Obligato - a high pitched turkey call. Usually heard in the wild as “obblegobble”.
Faggott - a bassoon. Yes, a bassoon.
Camerata - a small camera
Cantata - a small can
Sonata - a small son
Prelude - a small Japanese car.
Glockenspiel - a dark German beer. As in “Hey, Jim-Bob, throw me another Glockenspiel!”
Homophony - an irrational fear of bassoons.
Letcher Lines - “Hey baby, what’s your sign? Come to choir practice often?”
Libretto - a soprano born in September. Usually highly compatible with a Saggitario. (See Letcher Lines)
Minuette - roughly 52 seconds.
Rubato - a reddish-brown vegetable found on cat-pizzas.
Tonic - What is generally enjoyed over ice after choir rehearsal.
Dominant - In a choral relationship, usually the alto.
Euphonium - A choir invitation. If they won’t answer your letters, euphonium.
Augmentation - Special surgery for sopranos involving the implantation of falsettos.
Basso Obstinato - recurring wrong notes in the bass section.
Incomplete Cadence - harmonius interruptus
Metronome - small elves which live in the London subway system.
Euphonium - A choir invitation. If they won't answer your letters, euphonium.
Basso Continuo - When the director can’t get them to stop
Score - Sopranos 3, Tenors 0.
Riff - What happens when someone takes your choir robe.
Contralto - An alto who has been convicted
Polychoral Motet - Six parrots singing "Cantate Domino"
Aleatoric (Chance) Music - Music performed by the random selection of pitches and rhythms. Frequently found in the choir anthem.
Castrato - The highest male voice (some alteration required)
Étude - What comes right before the Beatitudes
Concerto Grosso - A "Polka" Mass.
Glissando - What directly precedes the highest note of a descant.
Leitmotif - Like a regular motif, but less filling.
Polonaise - A condiment frequently put on a parrot sandwich.
Recapitulation - What usually happens after you eat a parrot sandwich.
Rondo - A popular sixties song as in "Help, help me, Rondo."
Theme - "We hate this anthem."
Theme and Variations - "We hate this anthem, the composer and all of the composer’s relatives."
Sectional Harassment Lawsuit - What happens when the director suggests that the altos "Sing from their diaphragms."

So, as you can clearly tell, music is a very difficult and complex subject which requires years and years of careful study.
Learn these definitions. They’ll be on the test.